Sunday, May 5, 2013

Socks, no the dryer doesn't eat them, you just don't put them away!

Dear Family,
I love you all to the moon and back but we have to pause and have a serious conversation.  SERIOUS.  Are you familiar with the laundry basket of socks that we never quite seem to see the bottom of?  Well today, today is the day, the day that I am determined to clear my heart, head and laundry basket.  It's never good to live with clutter.  It not only takes up physical space, it takes up space in your head.   I live with lots of little annoying things in the blended family blender but a laundry basket full of socks is one of which I am freeing myself of.  I swear some of those socks have lived at the bottom of that basket since I moved into this house six years ago.

So dear family, the time is now.... put them away by 6pm or they will be in tonight's garbage.   Just to give you perspective.  I matched close to 96 pairs of socks today.  I can't seem to find the partner to 53 additional pairs.  And just because I was thinking a great math word problem was in the works for our cub scout, I peeked in each of your drawers to see how many pairs of socks were already tucked in snug.    I've often joked about the hundreds of socks that are in this house.  But today it is a reality, one that is embarrassing and is coming to end.. . . TODAY.  My calculations are even on the low side because I know there are 2 or 3 loads of laundry in the works today and am pretty confident that some of the onesies have other onesies under your beds.  But roughly speaking there are 555 individual socks in this house right now.... that is roughly 39 pairs per individual.  Now, I know that calculation is a bit off because our  baseball player actually has 54.  Yes, I counted.   People, this is clutter, drawer clutter, stinky clutter.  You don't wear 39 pairs because you are often hunting high and low for the 5-7 pairs that you do choose to wear.  And remember three of you only live here half the week!

People are starving and walking barefoot in this country and other countries!  There is no need for 39 pairs, or 54 pairs of socks.

So let's go over the plan -
Evaluate the sock pile prior to 6pm.
Decide on which socks you are going to keep.
Dispose of any onesies.
Dispose of the ones with holes, the ones that no longer fit, the ones that you know you will never wear.
Do not ask for new socks unless your stash is between 7-9 pairs.

Ok, I feel good now.  I feel lighter.  I am ready to clean out a closet. . . . watch out.....

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