Recharge, Regroup - L-O-V-E -

The World's Greatest Husband and I had no kids for 45 hours or so.... I can't describe what this no children time does for us.  Simply put, it's like having a full tank of gas on a Monday morning.  The connection and time brings peace, strength and silliness that somehow seems to carry us through the noise and chaos on a typical day.

I am always amazed at what life looks like with no kids around.  We joke about what the future will look like without nightly dinner for seven and taxi cab service leaving every 25 minutes between the hours of 3:15 and 7:00 PM on any given weeknight.  I've typed it a trillion times before, our life is busy.  I've learned many things about myself and this journey over the years.  The biggest of all is... I know I couldn't have done this blended  family, second marriage gig with any other man on this earth.  The World's Greatest Husband rarely lets an almost 9 year old cub scout, two 12 year old tweens, and two high schoolers rattle him or us.  He goes with the flow - slow, allows for proper amount of space, knows when to shut up and give up.  He is more concerned about being married than being right and truly is the kindest man I know.  I, on the other hand, am detailed oriented, don't miss a trick observant, sometimes keep score, have a hard time holding back emotion and my tongue and generally do more negotiating, picking up and worrying before 8AM than most women. I navigate the role of Step-Mo with no real plan other than an open heart.  Together, our styles seem to compliment one another and we mostly have the home team covered.  Like I said, there is no other person I could be thriving and surviving in the blender with.

Now having said all this.... it only takes about 15 minutes after our little break of alone time to be with the whole gang and be on the verge of tears wondering "How the hell did this happen and what the heck are we doing?"  The noise as I type this post is overwhelming, lucky for us they are laughing and enjoying one another rather than ranting and raving like many blended families.  That being acknowledged, it's loud and wears on every nerve in my body.  Whoa - yippee - Only to be rescued in an instant........Ahhhh the World's Greatest Husband just stepped up his game and announced "QUIET TIME from now until 2:30 PM.  These are my peeps and I love them.  I think I will close my eyes for a minute and revisit the 45 hours of cooking together, long dinners, drinking wine and sleeping late.  

A Love Letter to the World's Greatest Husband

I've taken the BlogHer challenge and wrote my lover a love letter.  As any long time Paper Mom reader knows, I love this guy - writing this letter was easy peasy because he evokes mushie, gushie, lovey, dovey feelings in this paper mom everyday..... I am a lucky duck.

February 14, 2013

Dear World's Greatest Husband,

Every week when we hold hands in church, I am reminded of all the blessings that are in my life.  Blessings, much like our days, start and end with you.  Church provides 6o minutes of reflection, appreciation and peace and it is when I feel the love of family and the strength of you.  I feel it throughout the week when you hold me at bedtime.  I feel it when you give me a kiss in the morning or hug me from behind when I am doing the dishes.  It seems to be the one true thing I can count on.

Your love is special for about a million and one reasons, thank you.  I am grateful that you are willing and able to show me your love, I feel it in a very deep and personal way and that gives me confidence, strength and hope.  The fact that you are willing to embrace my love in return makes it all so much sweeter. 

We’ve got history.  I think we have rewritten our definitions of what love and family are.  I am happy that you have given me a second chance at building a life based on love, respect, trust and friendship. Our partnership is so much more than I could have ever imagined 7 years ago.

With all my love,

Paper Mom

Age is on my mind....

AGE - It's on my mind again.  Lately I have tried to embrace age a bit differently knowing its inevitable.  My husband is 7 years older than me and time and time again over the course of our love story I have taken note of how he experiences "AGE" before me and quite honestly at the time it is noticed, it has annoyed me only to realize he gets the last laugh.

For example:  When we first started dating I took note of his hearing on occasion.  I would often think,  "He can't hear me.... he is just shaking his head yes and he has no idea what I just said."  Now granted this has always been noted while screaming kids are in the background with at least one machine or device blaring music at the same time.  Add to that a beeping stove, microwave or clothes dryer.  Simply stated, I took note and possibly even maybe, got a tad frustrated with him.  ONLY to give him the last laugh.  My new favorite word is..... "What?"  I swear only a few years later, I am constantly saying "What" unable to distinguish between words, music, noise, kids and requests.

Another example?  Eyesight.... he can't see, always looking for his glasses (usually on top of his head) only to be followed up by my first pair of readers.  Yes, I said it.  READERS!  My dear friend happily bestowed them on me for my 42nd birthday.  Love that girl!  Not having to actually purchase them helped ease the pain.  I like to think they are stylish fashion accessory. I am currently looking for a fabulous sparkly necklace to hang them from so they are never far from my head.  Ya know, your grandma had one.

Ears, eyesight, flexibility, memory..... it's all on the table

Acceptance of getting older not only comes in physical ways.... yesterday at church my husbands shirt was all untucked and ridiculous.  10 years ago I would have been embarrassed, I would have shot him "The look" with emotional hand signals and exaggerated lip reading that demanded a " fix yourself statement" instead age has mellowed me to accept my husband as is.... because bottom line - he loves me so deeply an untucked shirt is minor in the scheme of things.  I think I am mellowing.  I think it's a good thing.  I think I don't have much of a choice here.... age is happening our kids are growing up and soon my husband will get the perk of the Dunkin Donuts discount.




 

A Norwegian Cruise to Paradise....

The World’s Greatest Husband and I are contemplating a cruise to paradise to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary, a grown up kind of vacation, the kind where it is just the two of us for seven nights and eight days.  I must admit, in my mind this is big, B-I-G, bigger than big.  I deserve this little excursion for many reasons but over the last few days it has become clear that a little break with sun, sand, exotic drinks, vacation sex and a bit of shopping will make me a better wife, mother, employee, volunteer and heck I even think… driver, cook and catholic. Life has suddenly overwhelmed me.

So I want the World’s Greatest Husband to consider the top ten reasons why I need a vacation:

1.    I need a vacation because I would like to not have to listen for footsteps to the bathroom door with a lock click to know our kids actually, finally did get out of bed after visiting their rooms eight times with a big “Time to rise and shine for school mantra” 
2.   I need a vacation because our eight year old cub scout’s  4 AM bathroom wake- up call often comes with a “I can’t fall back asleep” situation that lasts until 15 minutes before my alarm goes off.
3.    I need a vacation because although nothing is really truly lost unless mom can’t find it, I am tired of looking. 
4.  I need a vacation because starting next fall and for the next 12 years, our five kids are in the college pipeline, our only vacation will be tuition payments, all while knowing 7 out of the 12 years we will be making payments for two children at a time and that is only if they all do it in the allotted four years. 
5.  Ok, do I need to repeat number four?
6.  I need a vacation because over the last 4 weeks our September, October schedule has kicked in with art lessons, track and field, gymnastics, marching band, book club, fall softball, tennis lessons,  zentangle class, CCD and ALGEBRA HOMEWORK.
7.   I need a vacation because we have not one but two twelve year old seventh grade girls. 
8.   I need a vacation because no matter what night and what meal I am cooking someone has the nerve to say, “Ewwe, I don’t like that”
9.  I need a vacation because I am tired of monitoring hand held devices with timer on our microwave.
10.   I need a vacation because five years in -- and  I still really like the World’s Greatest  Husband , I enjoy his company and like to laugh and learn with him and I don’t want to lose that butterflies in my stomach feeling when we focus on one another.  Over the last many years we have never had more than a few days without our children and that has never coincided with no work or home responsibilities.  We honeymooned for two days in Providence (now granted it was a grand sweet with spa treatments and amazing dinners but still only 48 hours!)  A blended family, like any family is exhausting but hey, for extra credit points we have two other sets of parents that factor into the equation constantly.  It takes flexibility, patience, a ton of money and a sense of humor to make it work.  Lucky for us we have a partnership that works and kids who genuinely like each other.  My cub scout recently said, “Our best days are the days we are all together” Now really who can ask for anything more than that?  Well beside a romantic seven day Norwegian cruise out of New York Thanksgiving week with the World’s Greatest Husband who I love deeply.  Honey, I hope you are reading this.

Five for Friday

Normally I publish my "Five for Friday - Five great things about today, on Fridays"
Because yesterday's post with www.mamakatslosinit.com was centered on the number five... I thought I would break away from routine and bring you five great websites to visit.   As you know, I am a sap for love, inspiration and all things good in life.... the following websites have made me cry and basically feel good about love, marriage, life and the power of family.  I hope you will visit them and find that special place that makes you have a grateful and peaceful heart. Have a great weekend Paper Peeps.
www.motherglow.com
www.ringonthefinger.com
www.welcomehomeblog.com
www.fuzzyfeelings.com (and I am not an animal person)
www.feelgoodblogs.com

Special thanks to Leelou blogs for introducing me to this website goodness.

Divorced Women Helping One Another...

A Sisterhood of divorced women…

A friend of mine is going through a divorce. 

She had some important medical tests scheduled while still on her husbands “good medical insurance”

The appointments were cancelled by the doctor’s office and rescheduled for a time frame that her divorce would probably be final and the “good medical insurance” would be gone.  She happened to mention this little tid bit to the receptionist and sure enough the woman greeting patients at the office was divorced too, a fellow sister of divorce.  She quickly scheduled my friend for the following Monday with the “good medical insurance” still in place.

I love this little story because I firmly believe there is a sisterhood of divorced women.  Now, that may seem silly coming from a happily married, mom/step mo to five kids.  The thing about the sisterhood is… no woman wants another woman to go through the pain, the trials, and the ugly of the journey.  Even when divorce is the BEST option, it is still hurtful, a process, an ending.  As women, I believe we generally want to lift one another up and although the rules of our little sisterhood are not truly documented the sisterhood is about a code of sharing so that one may learn from our personal journey.  I know that sometimes sharing means… sharing too much, coming off as a know it all, or butting in… that is the risk of membership. 

When I shared this tale with my husband he asked if there was a sisterhood of married women too? He said, if not, why not?  It got me thinking…. And now hopefully, you are thinking too…. What do you think favorite Paper Mom peeps?  Is there a sisterhood for married women? 

More to come on this one… let’s chat.

What makes the World's Greatest Husband unique and lovable?

Mama Kats weekly writing prompts are fun and the little boost the posts offer to my bloggy traffic makes me giddy.    This weeks assignment… 

Something unique you love about your significant other.

Well  let’s get to it.

The funny thing about love is… it’s so personal.   The World’s Greatest Husband has many qualities that make me love him.  But I imagine many of us who truly love our men would say things like, He is an amazing father, a hard worker, a solid provider, a friend, and a lover.  It’s easy to label his strengths, those things that connect us, the little between us things that makes us feel love.   Honestly, the special thing about my man that is different than any other relationship I’ve ever had…. The thing that makes me love him with every ounce of my soul is… his awareness of gratitude.  He thanks me for loving him.  He thanks me for the little things like making dinner or doing laundry, and for big things like caring for our family and our kids.  In addition, he thanks our children for tiny tasks completed and big life moments, he gives love freely and is grateful if it is returned to him.  His ability to find gratitude in most situations has been a guide and teacher to me.  He is a smart wise man and I am thankful to be his partner.  He has shown me what an open, grateful heart is capable of.  

Love is in the Air...

I loved our wedding…

It was intimate with only 35 people, our closest friends and family.

It was romantic, a ceremony followed by an elegant candle lit dinner.

It was emotional, my husband’s vows had everyone in tears…

Lots of grown (well, like my dad) men crying over his words.

Many  men shaking hands with my husband afterward saying “man that was good” and it was good, because I know he means every single word.

Our kids held hands in a circle around us as we said our vows.

A piano player in the corner set the tone.

My dress was perfect!  Elegant, appropriate, romantic and classic.

Our three girls wore the same dress, our boys in the same tie.

I could gush for days over this special evening.  I could go on and on about our three day honeymoon.

Simply put, Dr. and Mrs. Paper Mom is about the best thing ever!

On Tuesday we will celebrate our anniversary but lucky for me, we celebrate our love every single day!

Mom and Dad Fund

I love catalogs, I love pretty things.  I’ve studied the recent Vera Bradley catalog and have some many wishes for my wish list, problem is…my birthday is in December, my anniversary is in November, and Mother’s Day just passed.  I will have to invent a holiday to have an excuse to purchase a few new prizes… maybe I deserve a Memorial Day gift?

Funny how I need a reason to treat myself, why do we do that?  I guess it is because each of the three girls needs a new swimsuit, three kids have birthday parties to attend this weekend – which means three presents to buy, our oldest needed $30 this morning for end of the year field trips and there is a stack of bills a mile high on the kitchen counter.  Having a little life sure does cost A LOT!  Having a divorce sure does cost A LOT! And having FIVE children sure does cost A LOT! Oh my goodness – Life is hard and expensive. 

Mommy and the Daddy are often last on the list. I know it is our job to provide for our children but I am beginning to wonder if I will ever have new summer sandals.   I have vowed to make a Mommy and Daddy piggy bank.  A bank that will help “fund our fun”.  My extra change and dollar bills are going into the kitty to help mommy and daddy feel pretty, feel connected, and enjoy each other.  We’ve done this before and I hate to admit it but, when I needed lunch money for the kids or last minute cash, I’ve dipped into it.  I’ve robbed my own marriage of the funds that can make my connection stronger, HOW SAD! 

I think I will skip the cute little Vera Bradley key chain (have you seen them? They are darling) and put the $15 bucks in the Mom and Dad bank – that $15 is almost a bucket of popcorn for our date night movie!  And...we actually have a chance at “Date Night” this Friday.  Get this…. We have no kids but we have to volunteer at the concession stand! Can you believe that?  Our life is busy and chaotic and even when we have a night to ourselves to reconnect…. We need to work for our kids activities at the concession stand!!!!!  What is more romantic than date night at the little league concession stand? The World's Greatest Husband flipping burgers and Paper Mom making change for ring pops and hot dogs.  Maybe I do need that key chain?