Rick Springfield and Friends Cruise... just not with this friend...

I am blogging to work through some unsettling emotion.  This is my therapy session, right? I am not so sure this is a judgment free zone but here I go.  At the very least you may get a good giggle on me.

Ok, so favorite Paper Mom readers, you all know about my love for all things Rick Springfield since I was in the 5^th grade.  Well about a year ago, I started to gently plug that the Rick Springfield and Friends Cruise (yes, one does exist through Carnival Cruise Line every November) would be the ultimate 40^th birthday dream come true.  I worked it hard for only a short time, announcing it in front of friends and family.  Of which they mostly giggled and rolled their eyes.  As the year went on I took a step back realizing our finances would suffer with such an indulgence and knowing the World’s Greatest Husband’s demanding work schedule would make it nearly impossible to take time off the second week of November.  Plain and simple, I shut up about it.  I stopped thinking about how great it would be to be on a beach with Rick, sipping cocktails and listening to Jessie’s Girl reggae style while soaking up some vitamin D.  Life happens, I moved on.  I hardly remembered it was cruise time until the recent carnival ship making the news…. Ding, Ding, Ding…. Oh, I’ll just visit the Rick cruise website and see the latest news….

Then as a weird stroke of luck or possibly the worst thing ever… I then took a little looksie at our Google calendar and saw "Monday, November 15,2010 2:30 PM – SAIL” as an entry and I started to think and dream myself sick….all I could think was….

OH MY GOD! The World's Greatest Husband BOOKED the Rick Springfield and Friends CRUISE Nov 15-20th!  He notified my boss, his appointments for the week are all a hoax, the kids must be in on it, maybe his sister is coming to stay with the kids, what the heck am I going to pack? Do I need a passport? Does he know I don’t have a passport? I need things, I need travel things…  Looking back on my little 20 minute brain overload, it was quite a conversation! (With myself)

So as the weekend started I absolutely convinced myself that there was no truth to this and wanted to ask him what SAIL meant in the calendar but in some weird sort of way, wanted to live the dream too.  Oh no, no, no this can’t be true.  We are not going.  Until we received a phone message on Saturday night from my sister-in-law, the one that was our imaginary 5 day cruise babysitter.  I felt relief when I listened to her voicemail and saw her number, ok, good, she is home in Virginia, and she isn’t on her way to stay with our 5 babies while I go have the ultimate 40^th par-tay.  Silly Paper Mom, you ARE NOT cruising, relax, it’s ok…. Now you know the truth.  Except then I started to psych myself out…. What if that was simply a way to cast doubt on any thought I may have of cruising the ocean blue….

Oh people, you get the picture… the intense measurement of voice, details and scheduling this past weekend have worn me out.  I am not going to cruise with my boy Rick, instead two girls are getting braces in the morning, our oldest son is getting little kids off the bus while I attend a meeting and the World’s Greatest Husband is scheduled to work until 9pm. Life people, life. It would take a small army of qualified adults, contracts, paper, written rules, lists, lots and lots of lists to make our life happen without us being present, what was I thinking?  It was fun to dream, I found the “what if’s” to be truly exhausting.  I am headed to the office in the morning.  I have a lot to do.  But I may just pop in my Rick CD and try to find some peace in this stupid weekend of wonder.  What the heck is wrong with me? I don’t usually get this wacked out.  I am not disappointed, I knew the truth, honestly in my heart, I knew we weren’t going but it’s funny how our brain (especially my brain) can play the whole thing out as if it were a dream come true.  I feel sick and I had a horrible weekend, thanks for asking.