Weighing in on my Weight

I am a big girl now, well quite literally.
I had to find a bit of courage and finally step back on that bathroom scale.
It took every ounce of inner strength to once again face the music.  Let's just say, this sucks.
So my weight loss journey began a month after my 20th high school reunion in summer of 2009.  I know that sounds ridiculous but I seriously went to my 20th reunion weighing the most I've ever weighed in my life.  Why I couldn't have lost the weight prior to the party? I will never know. But after the party? I rocked the scale day and night and lost 30-ish lbs.  The summer of 2010 I felt good, dropping 3 dress sizes and feeling healthy.  Last summer (2011) I slowly began to chew to my little hearts desire and haven't stopped since.

Today was interesting.  I have gained 16 pounds since my weight loss.  BAD - but not as bad as I thought it was.  I had a number in my head - when I stepped on the scale and to my surprise the scale was 25 pounds less than the number in my head.... I had to stop and think. . . .  as women we are seriously hard on ourselves.  In my head I have avoided the scale for months because I had a stupid number in my head and when I put my big girl panties on to weigh in (actually, I was buck naked, why add to the disaster) the number was 25 pounds less than what I imagined.  I am not saying let's not entirely worry about the number because I do want to focus on the number 16 -- 16 is the number of  pounds I want to lose and I want to lose 16 because I am afraid of other numbers like blood pressure numbers diabetes and cholesterol numbers.  But really ladies, it's a number and I wish fear hadn't paralyzed me from stepping on that puppy sooner, maybe my number would have even been lower at that point.  It's a journey, FOR SURE and Yes, I want to look like a hot 41 year old mom to five.   Sweet Sixteen, wish me luck.