Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Step-Mo the constant challenge...

I took note of a family across the way at church this week.  They had six kids.  Knowing how hard life is with many children I prayed for them.  I also went to a weird place… That woman birthed those six babies… OMG!

As a Step-Mo I always describe our family with the qualifier… we are a blended family.  I sometimes even say, I didn’t give birth to all five.  It is always a tad uncomfortable when you have to explain "the situation".  99% of the population gets it and 50% of the population is right there living it with me.  Somehow I feel the need to let folks know I didn’t have three of those babies slide out of my vagina.  But  I guess I want the world to also know that just because I didn’t give them life I certainly support it, maintain it and sacrifice a ton for it, as I do for my husband and my two biological kids. I’ve posted about being a Step-Mo so many times.  It is such an interesting role and as a woman who has a brain, a job and a supportive husband, I still struggle with how to handle it all.  Our life moves at an amazing pace and there are days when I want to stop this rollercoaster and scream.   I feel for the step-mo’s who struggle with disrespectful kids, biological mothers who butt in and husbands who are caught in the middle. I know there are many other families that are engaged in a constant struggle.  We have our share of relatively small struggles and I think we’ve managed to strike a balance with I am not the mom, I am the mom, I look like a mom, I act like a mom, I know I certainly can yell like a mom…

So why do I feel a need to qualify my family situation with that statement… blended family?  The World’s Greatest Husband and I end each day with a recap of our worries and frustrations as they relate to each and every one of our five kids.   We struggle to afford each kid and their activities. When they are sick we share the responsibility of missing work.  I try to create menus that satisfy the picky eaters that sit at our dining room table, I taxi drive, I pick up, drop off and visit mom’s house more times in a week than I ever care to count…. So why isn’t the statement simply… Our five kids… I have five kids…. PS - Add to the mix, we don’t even have the traditional every Thursday night and every other weekend custody situation!  We share the week. I put them on the bus 3 out of five school mornings.  I am not saying all this for you the reader… I am saying this for me the writer…. This mental struggle I fight must end!  I need to STEP-MO-IT-UP and proudly state… I have five kids… no qualifiers… no birthing statements….I guess there will always be situations where I will explain but next time that Walmart cashier casually asks… how many kids do you have? I am absolutely, proudly stating - - -  five. 
Baby steps, people….baby steps.  
That damn Snow White and Cinderella... They set the stage for the Step-Mo long ago... making my job a heck of a lot harder... 

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