Birthdays in a Blended World

As a Step Mo I have mastered the skill of biting my lip.  Step mothering and mothering in general is about continuously choosing my battles and negotiating relationships.  I believe with step families it is a tad bit more difficult at times because there are so many "extra people" loving the children.   I have always labeled all that extra love as a “good thing” of blended life. 

I’ve experienced a personal blip on our blended family life and it is a difficult one for me to process.  Birthdays and holidays are one of the more stressful items on the blended family agenda.  Negotiating all those “extra people loving the children” during these momentous occasions can be a challenge.  I have found it is usually best to smile and be gracious and kind.  I think I do that quite well.  I am a peace maker, rule follower by nature so it isn’t my wish to rob someone of their special moment to shine.  For example, we all packed into church this weekend to celebrate our daughter’s confirmation.  I was a proud and very teary Step Mo.  I love when our family makes or should I say shares “history.”  I like that we have been together for many of life’s special moments and it is certainly a joy to see our young Catholic girl become an adult in the church.  “We’ve got history, baby!” Is one of my favorite lines to the World’s Greatest Husband.

So here is the deal.... This week there is a birthday party for the entire class at the other house.  The party includes all children in the blender, which is progress.  All the girls in the class are invited to party and sleep over once the moon bounce, swimming and cake are done.  All except my daughter (who is not only in the family but in the class too!)  Maybe I am just a cranky Step Mo but having to explain to my heart broken little girl why she can’t stay and sleep over is making me a little nutty.  I must admit, she is a trooper, my daughter has handled this with style and grace publicly, but in her mother’s arms she has been all of what a hurt nine year old should be….mush.  I understand we all have limits and this is obviously one of those limits for the parties involved, I am trying to respect that but at the same time, I am not sure a 9 year old has the capacity to begin to understand.  In her mind this is simply her sister…..

To add salt to this wound… last’s nights phone call to say good night was all about calling the girlfriends to remind them of a date change for the sleep over…. Couldn’t that have happened at the other house? As to not call more attention to the fact that there will be one special guest missing….

It's not all cupcakes and ice cream in a blended life, I am going to work on this in my head so I can be that woman of grace and style that my daughter is so bravely being…. flexibility is the key to a sane and happy blended life.  I am being challenged on this one!

Have a great Back to Work Monday.

Dear Santa - In 6 months I'll be 40!

Dear Santa,
In  6 months you will be arriving.  It will be a BIG Christmas as I will turn the BIG 4-0 on the eve of your big day!  I am looking forward to your arrival this year.  I like the when the mantel is all sparkly and the season of entertaining takes shape.  This year your arrival is sort of a turning point, and I've been meaning to make that LIST!  No, not your standard list of what I want or need, you know the deal, some pretty stationery, smelly stuff and a piece of jewelry usually do the trick.  No surprises there.   I am talking about the OMG your now 40 list! What have you accomplished? Are you the woman you want and need to be?  What are your children learning from your actions and words? The BIG LIST, the dreams are shifting, time is moving list, responsibilities continue to pile up and I am woman hear me roar (or cry) sort of list.  The mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend list.  Only I am a tad stuck.... there are a few things floating in my head....there are a few things I need to do.... there are a few things I dream of...  a few road blocks, a few opportunities and gosh, my body, sex drive and hair all keep changing!  Santa, I am going to work on my list. But I think I may address the next letter to Jesus, after all it is his birthday.  I will cc you. I imagine the list needs all the help I can get, do you have the address for the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy? I'll be in touch soon! 
Love, 
Paper Mom

Five for Friday

Five for Friday -
Five great things about today...
1. My kids come home! I've missed them.
2. All Star game tonight.
3.I am doing vlog research.  Soon you will see Paper Mom on your screen.  What Fun!
4. I started logging calories on my iphone app, Lose it.  I need to shed 10 more pounds... it's time to get serious.
5. Tomorrow we are celebrating our oldest daughters confirmation.  May God bless her.

Guess where I went...

The Library!  I love going to the library for materials.  I encourage you to visit yours.  It’s free!  Free, free, free… it amazes me with each and every visit.  I love that I can take out a trillion books and thumb through, dive in or skim…. and then I bring them back and get more!  Here is my latest visit but I think I have 15 or so up in my bedroom.  I am not shy about checking out books.

 

Our children have been out of the house since Tuesday and two nights of pillow talk with the World’s Greatest Husband is wonderful treat.  We’ve stayed up late, late, late and that cracks me up… we usually fall into bed tired as can be at 10:30pm.  The kids leave and we are like two teenagers with their parents out of the house.  Of course we have been to practices, games and carpooling but our 9pm dinners for two with wine and yummies makes my summer sweet.

Shout out to my Paperly peeps!  Did you get your Summer of Stationery Mailing?  Well Guess what? Paperly just announced additional hostesss benefits for JULY!  It doesn’t get any better than that!  I hope you will consider hosting a party.  It is as much about gathering with family and friends as it is about quality, stylish papers. 

Happy Thursday!

As I got up yesterday morning to get ready for work, they all slept.  The World’s Greatest Husband was at the gym, I actually took a shower, did my hair and put my make up on without interruption.  I kept thinking, “Mommy likes this.”  As they slowly emerged life became louder and as I drove to work (late as usual) I giggled to myself:  It may be summer, our schedule may have changed, but I still have plenty to blog about!

For example tonight, I need to be in several different places with several different kids at the same time.  Yes it is our summer schedule - but some things just don’t change.  I need pixie dust which may really just be Fish Eye Pinot Grigio in disguise…. Parenting five gets easier with a glass of wine.  Now, the World’s Greatest Husband and I are not big drinkers, but I found it to be hysterical that yesterday was his first day with the kids while I worked from 9am – 7pm.  He was in charge… when I woke up this morning I found a beer bottle on the ledge of our bathroom window!  The kids drove a non drinker to drink! The poor man was literally outside reorganizing our pool house at 10:30 last night and I imagine he brought in a cold one to enjoy as he came up to shower (the beer is left over from a Christmas party - - - I am not kidding!) I must admit it made me crack up…. One day with the kids and the poor guy has taken up drinking…. I think I’ll join him tonight….He is working until 9pm so I’ll be up to the task! He might find a bottle of wine on the window ledge ….

Five for Friday

Five Great things about today (usually Friday but today, Saturday)

1. Today is awards day at the Little League field... Moon bounce, World's Greatest Husband (coach) in the dunk tank and free hot dogs at 9am!

2. Our 8th grader is thrilled with her pandora bracelet.

3. All star practice for our girls later today.  I think my little softball attitude has lessened.  I am in it for the long haul, I might as well bring my chair, water bottle and red hot summer read.

4. Tonight we will participate in Relay for life - honoring all the cancer survivors we know and those we've lost.  It is a beautiful event.

5. My new Nike flip flops are fabulous.  I am walking on little air pillows.  I love them!

Last day of school, we made it!!

Today is the day!
the Last day of 9th grade, 8th grade, 4th and 4th grade and kindergarten.
We made it.
School's out and summer is in (at 1:15pm)

I promise to blog (five for friday) more later, I just wanted to take a moment and check in on this special day and let you know I am doing the happy dance!

We are switching gears - all stars, vacations, swimming, flip flops, reading on the patio and bathing suits. Yes, the World's Greatest Husband and I will still be working but even that schedule changes up... of course this switch brings about a whole different host of issues which will probably make blogging interesting all summer long... stay tuned.

I'll write more later...after I stop dancing on the kitchen table and get these little monkeys to school (for the final time this school year!)

 Yesterday I received a blog comment from the World’s Greatest Husband.  This was shocking as he isn’t a Paper Mom reader.  I was giggly when I saw his comment, loving him even more and I must admit I was confused at the same time.  Reading Paper Mom? Why? Why now?  I’ve always wanted him to understand my place in bloggyland, so his thoughtful attempt to get a grasp on my hobby is sweet.  (A funny side line, I mentioned it was my best friend’s birthday and he replied, “yes I read that on the blog.” Hmm… Ladies, this could change the scope of the blog …. Maybe I should blog about the jewels I want, the vacation I need, and the foot rubbing that should occur.)   So just in case he is now addicted to my posts and reading, I want to send the most special, warmest, loving welcome to my husband who I look forward to falling into bed next to every single night. I am head over heels in love with you and am glad you’re here.

So keeping it in the family today…

I’ve been meaning to blog about my beautiful little niece.  I am so in love with this little girl it makes me want to “put her whole head in my mouth” Now are you saying…what the heck????? When I had my babies, I often said I wanted to kiss them by putting their whole head in my mouth, eating them up…. That was how intense I felt… just wanted to swallow them whole? No, no, no….. the comment means… just give them the biggest kiss possible…. And somehow that meant… eating them up…  Funny that she is the only other baby I have felt this for.  I love her little lady style, her caution, her wardrobe and her mommy and daddy too!  I’ve been thinking of her with a warm heart because her best mommy recently sent me a video of her “growling” through the screen door.  This was absolutely hysterical and if I could post it, I would.  Her little dainty style was replaced by some “inner ugly” and it was too much to handle.  I watched it three times and my kids had to pick me up off the floor from laughing so darn hard.  She was seriously playing the part of the mean kid….. it was funny!  This summer I am making a scrapbook of her first year of life, I am hoping this isn’t presented to her at her high school graduation…I’ve got to get going.  Unfortunately there are hundreds of miles between us but because of cell phone photography I see her every single day!  I always look forward to her dinner time photo shoot.  She’s a beauty and guess what? I am her favorite auntie….just don’t tell the other aunts in her life.

It’s Wednesday and we are one day closer to the end of the school year…. Have a good one.

4 more days! 4 more days! 4 more days!

Dear Lord,

Give me the patience for only 4 more school days.  That is only 4 chaotic mornings with 4 different bus stop times, 4 shuttle bus afternoons with only 7 games left (that’s before the all-star schedule) and 4 nights of tearful homework (I think Math may be over for the school year.)  I can do this if you are with me….

Special Paper Mom Shout Out!

Warmest, biggest and the best 39 Birthday Wishes are being sent to my dearest friend.   Happy Birthday!  You are a good friend, wonderful mom and sexy wifey  - Enjoy your day –  I love you!

Happy Tuesday!

Theme Song

Do you have a theme song for your life?  If the movie of your life was on the big screen what would the soundtrack be?  I never had a theme song until divorce.  Two songs were on the radio at that time that “spoke to me.”  Kelly Clarkson’s Break Away was the perfect tune for the changes that were going on - Make a wish, take a chance, make a change and break away.  I can remember driving to daycare with kids in tow, blasting this one and feeling like life is going to be ok – I’ll make it, we three will make it.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

Then there was my get ready for a date song, feeling sort of sexy song.  (are you laughing at me? stop it!)  Michael Buble’s “Feeling Good” has always done the trick.  I remember dancing to it with the World’s Greatest Husband in my living room when we were dating.  Maybe it was the glass of wine, but I do recall saying to my future husband (didn’t quite know that then) this song makes me want to strip.  Of course his response, “I love this song.” 

Have a GREAT Monday!

Five for Friday

Five for Friday

Five great things about today:

My house is actually, sort of, picked up.  It only takes five kids getting off the bus to change that… I think I will threaten them upon arrival.

We play ball (again) tonight.  I hope the rain holds off.

Summer of Stationery is shaping up nicely.  If you are on my mailing list you should receive information early next week.  If you want to be on my mailing list, leave a comment or email me your address at Papermom.andrea@yahoo.com.

8^th grade dance was a success.  Our daughter looked pretty and had stars in her eyes when she returned.  I suspect a slow dance was involved.

Playing memory with my youngest.  We keep making comments to one another that we only have one more week of our mornings together.  He will be in full day school next year so our special morning routine will change.  I’ve been lucky to make this work with my job and looking back, I have a heart filled with gratitude.  We have done homework, shopped, snuggled, played and vegged out infront of the Today show.  It’s been a treat.  

Summer To Do

Every summer we take a piece of paper and brainstorm a list of fun things we would like to do during summer.  (This is inspired by Grammy and Grandpa who started the tradition when we visit beautiful Marco Island. ) Our summer list is posted on the frig and the kids find joy in crossing off or looking forward to the next adventure.  The list often has things like: Night swimming, smores on the patio, light sparklers, go to the outside hamburger joint.  It is a cute little activity that keeps some fun anticipation alive in our lives.  School ends in a few days so we will be developing our list this weekend.  In spirit of lists, accomplishing goals and having hot summer fun, I am making a personal list for my personal summer must do’s

Read three books.

shop alone, all day, with a pocket full of money

Swim at least 10 times – my kids are always quick to announce to visitors “she never goes in the pool”

Stay in my pajamas for an entire day!

Sew! I’ve had this on my list for years!

Cook lobsters (for the first time in my life)

Go to yard sales one Saturday morning.

Complete scrapbook for my beautiful niece.

Host a dinner party on the patio complete with with candles and flowers floating in the pool

Lose 5 more pounds.

Organize the office/craft nook (AGAIN!)

Go to Waterfire

A night away with the World’s Greatest Husband

Write in my Kids journal more often

Visit with girlfriends

Wish me luck!  The biggest accomplishment would really be….. breathe, relax, enjoy the warm breeze, be in the moment.  Hope your having a good day!

A blended family milestone, sort of?

I have to admit my patience meter is running on empty.  I sometimes shy away from voicing my blended family frustrations on this blog.  It is my bloggy therapy and somehow keeping it real, but also on the positive side helps me fill my heart with gratitude.  I really am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. 

Just not this morning. 

I have to believe many of my frustrations are normal for any mommy who works outside the home and in the home and in the hearts and minds of their children.  I am committed to building five strong young adults and that takes work, it takes empathy, it takes words, lots of words and it takes a tank full of gas and an ATM machine.

So here is the extra dynamic that exists with blended pups, it’s caution!  I walk a fine line in my role as Step Mo.  Our life is full of silly laughs, respect and kindness but there is more unexplainable caution than I care to admit to.  With my biological children, that simply doesn’t exist.  Maybe it comes with DNA? Although the World’s Greatest Husband and I share the same values and for the most part the same parenting style, there is simply “stuff” that can’t really be defined, that defines our roles.

For example:

Can’t find something? Quick pick up the phone and call Dad and work or Mom at home.  I want to scream NO – go the distance, continue to look, find it, search.  The house isn’t that big!   When  they pick up the phone, I use caution…am I supposed to say, NO don’t call your parent? Somehow that would seem to create some sort of line that would peg me as the enemy and honestly,  I wouldn’t want my ex to ever limit talk time between me and my kids….then I worry, their mother must think our house is a disaster if they can’t find their cleats.  She must think I refuse to help them look…. Yes, it’s crazy I know.  I encourage them but the pattern is…. pick up the phone for help and in this silly example, I feel nutty.

Another quick example….

Child: I want my earrings; I forgot them at mom’s house. 

Step Mo (using caution, but going for it)  “I wish you had them, but they are only earrings, and look you are wearing a pretty pair.  You can get them tomorrow when you are back at moms and wear them here next time so I can how pretty they are.” (At this point I label this as success, I’ve encouraged flexibility, delayed instant gratification, impressed upon planning ahead)

Child: (while saying goodnight to mom on the phone) I really wanted to wear my earrings tomorrow.  Can you bring them to school?

Mom:  Yes, I’ll bring them to the office before your field trip.

Step Mo (deflated, annoyed and feeling like it doesn’t matter what sort of people I am trying to build, there are still two families trying to create from two different places with little communication.)

Two silly examples but you get the picture.  No matter what - there are multiple families, his kids, my kids, our kids, multiple parents colliding in power, rules, and love.  I think for the most part we manage well.  As a parent working in this dynamic, I think I am often super flexible, super accommodating, super loving and oh yeah, super powerless.  I am grateful for my husband’s love and am an active partner in making our life work.  Any of you who really know me are laughing say “Oh, she sure does”.  I am working hard, but as our teenagers are blossoming, our family calendar fills and our roles get even further defined, I see us at a turning point.  Our “honeymoon” is over we are blended, mixed, stirred and sometimes shaken.  My former assistant (who also blended 5 kids) once told me it will take all of two years of marriage to feel fully connected…. Well we are at 2 years and 8 months and we’ve graduated. I am at the point where we need to create a few new rules, a place where some of our old tricks no longer work and a place where I feel like taking a deep breath.  I am proud of the family we have become, I love our children and I am tired, real tired.

Tonight I will fill that gas tank.  My ex is taking the children for an unexpected overnight.  The World’s Greatest Husband’s babes are with their mom for their regular Wednesday.   I plan to breath my husband in, knowing that is the therapy that always works for me, I plan to be a new woman once again tomorrow.  Talking with him, loving and laughing with the World’s Greatest Husband is way better than Tylenol PM. 

To my blended family readers.  You get this post, I know you do.  Stay strong, feel the love and stretch…. Because flexibility is the key. Yesterday, my step daughter hugged me and said you are the best Step Mo ever and I that made me tingle with delight.  

Summer of Paperly!

Two posts on a Monday! Wow! Check out this Paper Mom - Paperly Promotion - Summer of Stationery! Paper on the Patio! This is going to be so much fun!Flyer

Happy Monday

I do not bake.

I tell the World’s Greatest Husband, I can only be good in one room – do you really want it to be the kitchen?

I do not bake.

But, If I have to bake, I love to do at 6:30 am after a few tears because I don’t have the heart shaped brownie pan that mom has.

The class now has fresh brownies, not heart shaped.

Moving on….

My house is a mess, our three girls are trying out for all-stars and our oldest made the summer league team.  Ok, so here we go until August.  If any of you know the World’s Greatest Husband remind him of my name when you bump into him.  Our life is moving way too fast and I am fighting tears.   Ever feel like one more thing may make you turn into the crazy lady that wears pink curlers and a hair net to the grocery store? Ladies, I’ve got those pink little lovelies in my drawer and I am not, I repeat, I am not afraid to use them!

Happy Monday!

Five for Friday

Five for Friday is my most favorite day to blog.  It is quick it is easy, it is blog with purpose…

So here are my five great things about today:

1. There are only 10 days left of school.  Why does my morning stress level seem to lift as each child steps onto their bus?  I always feel relief when we have successfully completed our morning routine. Today our morning began with a heated argument between our 15 year old and our 13 year old.  They fought over a pair of shorts.   Even though the World’s Greatest Husband has to get up at 5am and fly out the door to commute 50 minutes, I believe he has the better end of the deal most mornings.  I would pick a quiet reflective hour ride with Gayle King’s XM radio show and a medium hazelnut with cream and one sweet and low any day! 

2. The 9 year old girls play again tonight.  I am looking forward to seeing them play.  They have improved so much and somehow a non school night game means I don’t have to stress about homework and dinner in quite the same way when we are still on the field at 8:15 pm.  I swear you can see and hear the stress levels increase among the parents on the bleachers as 8pm approaches.

3. Husband is off on Saturday night. I wish we had a hot date plan.  Instead we will be at a double header for our 13 year old.  There is always my rain dance….. but what I have learned is…. Make up games are more of a hassle than they are worth.

4. I have been spending my mornings developing a “Paperly Summer Stationery Promotion” which will include the most amazing “Paper on my Patio” event.  I am so excited about this Stationery Soiree! Details will be up on Monday.  If you have ever thought about hosting a Paperly party, you will want to host in June, July or August so you can receive a VIP Paper Princess invite to the this fun ladies night out.  The promotion will celebrate ink and paper in our electronic age! Stay tuned.

5. My final five for Friday? YOU! Today is my 100th post of 2010.  I have fallen in love with blogging and my posts and bloggy friends help me to “keep it real.” My life is crazy, hectic, really it is chaotic!  Yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I am a poster child for thriving and surviving in the blended family blender.  The fact that you indulge my inner mommy, step-mo, paper obsessed, almost 40, married to an amazing man, koo-koo – balancing act is amazing…. I hope you can appreciate how much a few minutes alone with my thoughts, typing on this blog helps to make me sane.  Thank you for reading.

Have a great weekend!  Kiss your husband, hug your kids, take a deep breath in through your nose out through your mouth.   

Oprah loves Stationery too!

Guess who has a little stationery line? My girlfriend Oprah, who knew?  I love her “O” note cards (on clearance) and her blank notes.  Of course the front sentiment on all 8 blank cards inspires me in true Oprah style. 

   

There is always room to grow when you lead with the truth

                So true, big believer in telling the truth.

A little restoration goes a long way.

I Could use a little R&R.  I am officially tired of our baseball season and school.  I would like the freedom of summer nights with no homework, practice or games to officially arrive.

Great communication begins with connection.

         In my professional life I am a fundraiser, everything begins with relationships!

Become more of yourself.

         I am focused on this as I approach 40.

Love what you’ve got.

I try to be aware of this every single day.  I am often overwhelmed with our crazy blended family life, but we have so much joy and love in our lives, I love what we’ve got! 

You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself.

        I try to figure this one out everyday!  I care too much about what others think & say.

What I know for sure is that there is no strength without challenge, adversity, resistance and often pain

         I think we could teach our kids this with a bit more gusto! 

Strength comes from our ability to stand up, face resistance, and walk through it.

So true!  When you can look back on a situation and feel the growth from the experience… that is a darn good day!

Visit the O Store at her website or jump on a plane and visit Chicago.

Diamonds are a girls best friend

My worry stone is my engagement ring and wedding band.  I love my rings and when I am stressed, worried, or feeling his love, I often stare at them, almost pray over them.  The simple act of taking a moment to regroup, find some loving peace and think of the World’s Greatest Husband  while meditating over my diamonds has helped me get through tough situations on more than one occasion.   The rings are truly a symbol of his love for me.  He searched high and low for the perfect ring and was so happy when he found it. When we went searching for a wedding band he talked me into the bigger diamond channel.  I was ready to save a buck and go with the solid white gold band but he wanted me to have more diamonds.  I am really not making this up.  He said, “I think we should get the one with the diamonds, you deserve diamonds” as if I weren’t in love already? I fell deeper.

The day after he proposed, I went to get my nails done and the Asian man commented, “OOOooo, wow, ring” I must have been admiring it.  I enjoyed his comment, and my ring moment.  I felt like a princess.

Yesterday while shopping at Target I had another engagement ring moment.  The check- out clerk mouthed , while pointing at my hand, “look at her rock” to the other cashier.  Although she didn’t want her lips read by me, I witnessed it and I must admit, a few years later, I felt like that princess again.   The one where I want to shout, YEP he really, really, really loves me!   Honestly, my ring isn’t huge. Ok,  it is a bit sparkly and I absolutely love it…. But it isn’t show stopping HUGE….  That being said, I am tickled pink with the cashiers comment!  Now seriously, who wouldn’t want to hear “look at that rock?”

The World’s Greatest Husband is a diamond.  I am glad he is on my finger and in my heart.  Yep, I am full of myself today, and gushing over my guy.  Is there something wrong with that?

Have a good day – I’ll try to contain my love!

Do you smell special?

My youngest says the craziest, cutest things…

Son:  “Mom, my clothes sometimes smell special.  Like when Auntie Rose gives me clothes, they smell special.  My clothes that you buy smell too, but they smell like me, so I really can’t smell them, because it’s just me.  Mom, I hope I don’t stink.”

The kids are swimming in the pool and I am typing on the patio, life is good.

Happy Memorial Day, I hope you enjoying the warmth of the sun and family.

Five for Friday

Five great things about Friday

I am off today, and our back yard is begging me to get out there and clean it up.  Instead I plan to grocery shop (I am so poor these days, that the joy of shopping at TJ.Maxx is being fulfilled by Stop and Shop)

“Date Night” at the concession stand, pathetic but I’ll take it!  If we get done early enough… Sex & the City is a possibility (the movie - people – ah heck, maybe in my city too!!!!)

It’s a LOOOONG weekend!

It’s pay day!

The pool is open and no longer green.  Swimming starts Sunday.

A full week of blogging and I feel happy.  Thanks for reading, I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

Mom and Dad Fund

I love catalogs, I love pretty things.  I’ve studied the recent Vera Bradley catalog and have some many wishes for my wish list, problem is…my birthday is in December, my anniversary is in November, and Mother’s Day just passed.  I will have to invent a holiday to have an excuse to purchase a few new prizes… maybe I deserve a Memorial Day gift?

Funny how I need a reason to treat myself, why do we do that?  I guess it is because each of the three girls needs a new swimsuit, three kids have birthday parties to attend this weekend – which means three presents to buy, our oldest needed $30 this morning for end of the year field trips and there is a stack of bills a mile high on the kitchen counter.  Having a little life sure does cost A LOT!  Having a divorce sure does cost A LOT! And having FIVE children sure does cost A LOT! Oh my goodness – Life is hard and expensive. 

Mommy and the Daddy are often last on the list. I know it is our job to provide for our children but I am beginning to wonder if I will ever have new summer sandals.   I have vowed to make a Mommy and Daddy piggy bank.  A bank that will help “fund our fun”.  My extra change and dollar bills are going into the kitty to help mommy and daddy feel pretty, feel connected, and enjoy each other.  We’ve done this before and I hate to admit it but, when I needed lunch money for the kids or last minute cash, I’ve dipped into it.  I’ve robbed my own marriage of the funds that can make my connection stronger, HOW SAD! 

I think I will skip the cute little Vera Bradley key chain (have you seen them? They are darling) and put the $15 bucks in the Mom and Dad bank – that $15 is almost a bucket of popcorn for our date night movie!  And...we actually have a chance at “Date Night” this Friday.  Get this…. We have no kids but we have to volunteer at the concession stand! Can you believe that?  Our life is busy and chaotic and even when we have a night to ourselves to reconnect…. We need to work for our kids activities at the concession stand!!!!!  What is more romantic than date night at the little league concession stand? The World's Greatest Husband flipping burgers and Paper Mom making change for ring pops and hot dogs.  Maybe I do need that key chain?

planning a pool party

We are preparing for our first boy-girl, teenage, starting high school next fall, pool party.  I had no idea the negotiation that would come to be because of this bash.  Our big dilemma right now? 
Do we hire a life guard?  The thought of a life guard standing poolside, whipping her whistle in a circular motion around her finger, wearing a red speedo tank suit and holding a long banana floaty thing under her arm is making our 13 year old want to cry.  I guess safety isn’t cool? The thought of fifteen hormone challenged 8^th graders jumping off the diving board on top of each other makes me and the World’s Greatest Husband want to cry. 

Then we move on to food, decorations and games…. Yes, I said games.  I asked if we could play a few cool games and she gasped!  I remember playing “The Price is Right” and having a “Mr. Legs” party game at my middle school parties.   Not so sure this will happen, but I may just do it… hmmm, how can I incorporate texting into a game??? Maybe the person who sends me the most kind and creative statements about this par-tay? Wait,where will they put their handheld devices? They will be wearing bathing suits? Oh the thought of this par-tay gets more interesting with each day, and we still have a few weeks to go.  In the meantime I plan to hold it over their heads…. Let’s weed that pretty back yard, let’s sweep that patio, let’s trim those bushes,  so the backyard looks nice for your par-tay and friends! 

I think we are about to enter a whole new era of parenthood.  

Softball Moms

When I was young and foolish, married to "Mr. Past-Not-So –Good", he was a big beer league softball player.  It made me crazy and I wanted to write an essay about the dynamics of men on a softball field.  This was before my blogging time but I can guarantee you if I blogged twelve years ago… it would have been the topic of many, many posts.  The butt patting, the chants, the drinking after the game, it was a quick study on men (a particular type of man) that I am grateful to forget!

While watching our two nine year olds practice last night, I had a related thought….the essays I wrote in my head years ago reemerged as “The sisterhood of the traveling softball moms”   Yes, as moms, we have a sisterhood of sorts on those cold metal bleachers and it usually is in high gear by about game five… that is just where we are in the season.  Our guard is lowered, we’ve seen each other in the Saturday morning sweat suit, We’ve shared cheesy fries and slushies, we have frozen our little tushies off together, we have cheered for every girl and last night… we began to gossip about our men, our jobs, our kids, our lives.  It was just the therapy I needed. 

All kidding aside the softball moms are a fun loving group, it may be the cold temperatures, the hunger pains, the fear of the homework that lies ahead  - but we always manage to find a laugh and common ground.  

I am back!

Dear Bloggy Friends,

 I am BACK!  I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted.  My special event has come and gone and I am back to being me… Paper Mom!  Yahoo, Yippee!

I promise to blog everyday this week, I’ve missed you! I’ve missed writing.  I could tell you one hundred and one stories from the past week, the event, my family and my life… We have so much to talk about.

Let’s start here.  I met author - Sarah Strohmeyer.  I think if she lived closer to me, we would be friends.  She was a delight.  I was so thrilled to get to know her and spend time with her.  She was our keynote speaker for our Friday night fundraiser, funny, informative, warm and spirited.  The World's Greatest Husband and I both enjoyed visiting with her; I think I will add her to the family Christmas card list.  She knows her stuff… I love how she spoke of writing as a job… commercial fiction.   In addition to enjoying her creative outlet; she is focused on paying college tuition and is not a literary snobby gal who simply writes to write.  Her flair for writing as a business, a job, came out and you know how I love women entrepreneurship!  But beyond that, she was a wonderful story teller.  I loved all her little snippets of life as a woman making her way in our world.  She struggles with mommy stuff and professional stuff, like we all do.  She told a funny story of having a conference call with Mr. Big, a movie executive and having to shuffle bowling with the girl scouts to do so.  If you are a paper mom reader, you know I love when a woman can tell her story so we all can be stronger…. That is how I felt on Saturday morning after she spoke to small group at our library…. I felt a bit stronger knowing as women, if we work hard all of our dreams are possible… that we can be good moms, good wives, and serious professionals making a difference in the lives of others.  Ok, maybe I am getting too deep – the bottom line…. The gal looked fabulous, has a kick ass career, juggled girl scouts, Mr. Big and seems to have a supportive husband and fun loving family too….  I can’t wait to read all of her books.  Check out her website at www.sarahstrohmeyer.com.

Crazy Week Continues...

My little guy is crying to call his little friend and talk (at 8:14 am).  Am I supposed to let him call friends on the phone in kindergarten?  hmmm NO is what I keep coming up with.  He is heartbroken.  If I knew the parents I might reconsider as a summertime thing but I've never met them.

Oh dear... mean mommy - live strong.

I warned you posts would be light this week.  Forgive me, I will strive to post everyday next week.  The Big event is Friday and we are working hard. I will breathe after Friday night.... until then....work, work, work.....

Andrea

Paper Mama needs some help...

Overwhelmed doesn’t seem to cover it.

I am so upside down!  This week is about to push me over the edge and it has hardly begun!  Any advice? Any tidbits to bring me peace?  Because all I really want to do is hop on a plane outta here! 

The World’s Greatest Husband continues to provide sound advice, hand holding, accommodations to make my life a bit easier.  He actually told his boss he has to come home early this afternoon so I can accommodate some responsibilities I have at my job later today….He is so sweet and kind and the funny thing is…. I am so koo-koo all I want him to do is simply stop talking!  I know, crazy mama’s gotta stop!

Children? Children? My kids should just move out for the week.  I am only kidding, but they should at least stay out of my way, do their own laundry and make their own meals… ok, I am kidding they can stay, I'll cook.

Work? I plan to close my door and work like a mad woman. I have my major event on Friday and I expect things will improve after that – please God, help me get to Saturday!

 

So there you have it – Paper mom is officially nuts but my dear psychologist husband tells me I have nothing on the real crazies he treats in the ER…. Now there is some peace.

Five for Friday (on Sunday)

Seriously?  Did I let Friday come and go with no Five for Friday? Now it is Sunday and you all know how I feel about Sundays!  How will I ever come up with five good things about today?  Hmmmmm – miss a day and the blog gets all wacky! 

The sun is shining.

Our CCD classes ended with an assembly today.  And one more child gets confirmed so next year – only three in CCD. Progress!   A sincere thank you to the men and women who teach our Sunday School, it is a huge commitment and they do a wonderful job.  Our youngest has successfully learned the “Holy Moly” which he proudly stated as a goal last fall.  “Hail Mary, Holy Moly, it is all good if done with a prayerful heart.

We have an unusual Sunday Baseball game at 3pm.

Tomorrow is a mommy’s only night – BLINGO – Bingo for jewels and baubles…. You are welcome to join me.

Watched Elizabeth Gilbert on Oprah.com (in honor of her 10^th celebration in NYC – Gilberts entire speech is on the web) and as always, she is amazing.  Elizabeth Gilbert wrote Eat, Pray, Love  I always want to call her Melissa Gilbert but that was from my Little House on the Prairie Days!  If you have 19 minutes, watch it, it is wonderful and really the woman was living inside my head with many of her comments…. We are all more alike than we think….

Ok, so it was late coming but I managed to do it. There is your five for Friday on Sunday -  I hope you are having a good weekend.

My husband is now in charge of the laundry!

Saturday was an exciting day in Paper Mom’s house.  It started like every other day, with a load of laundry.  (I can’t wait for the day that one of those extra big top loaders arrives…) anyway, hi, ho, hi, ho off to the basement I go.  We have a laundry chute so the clothes fly down to the basement from upstairs and often land outside of the basket onto the floor.  It is usually a mess of lights and darks down there, not where I chose to bring our guests.  Well, while picking up a pair of pajama bottoms (my pink polka dot ones) I found an animal.  At that moment, he sort of looked like he was waking up.  I froze, I screamed and then I ran.  The kids ran up with me and we all had to catch our breath in the kitchen.  This was followed by panic and questions… what was it? What do we do? Can it get up here?   I wanted to barricade the door but resisted.  I text my husband – who advised me to call the vet and ask where we could find a trap to capture an animal we haven’t yet identified.  They advised me that it sounded like the description of a opossum and I should call animal control.  My husband replies “quick go pick up the basement” which was quite witty as he knows me so well…. But there was no chance of me returning to that space!

Animal control arrives, a big, big van with big letters, cages, speakers.  The darn thing took up the whole driveway.  Yet this little sweet petite officer emerges.  She is as big as my nine year old.  I actually said, “You’re  going down there by yourself?”  Lucky for me, she really was sweet and wasn’t offended.  She captured the little critter in no time.  It was an opossum!  A baby opossum, which Little Miss Animal Control advises  if I have to have an animal, an opossum is the one I want and oh yeah, when there is one little baby there are probably 4 or 5 little babies.  The World’s Greatest Husband has looked and looked but hasn’t found a thing.  I’ve given up laundry…. No seriously – GIVEN UP!  It is his new job until I feel like a big girl again.

Interestingly enough the Officer educated the kids quite a bit.  She spoke of finding a moose, fischer cats and lots of raccoons in our town.  When I questioned the raccoon and the fear of rabies she proudly stated,  “I am vaccinated”… this puzzled me…. vaccinated or not…. I don’t want the darn thing to take a BITE out of me!!!!!!  I often speak of a career shift, I can absolutely say with complete confidence… it won’t be an animal control officer.  

Change

Busy, Busy, Busy.  My 18 hour work week has turned crazy full time as we count down to our major fundraising event on the 21st.  Posts may be slim until then – forgive me.

Last night I spent time at a fundraiser and heard author Lauren Webber speak about her book, In Cheap We Trust.  She was a delight!  I look forward to picking up her book.  She shared stories of her father being frugal (he would only keep the heat at 50 degrees and uses his car brakes creatively to save on having to replace brake pads).  He was present and provided some fun loving comments after Lauren’s presentation.  If you have time, check out her website, grab the book or visit the library.

As always, I love hearing the story of people, especially grown women who have done it all!   I am always amazed by the paths our little lives weave.  I sat next to some amazing women at this event.  I love hearing about their grown children, how they managed careers and how they spend their time now.  What becomes clear each day is…. paths change.  I’ve always prided myself on being open to change, embracing change.  As I get older, I fear change more and more yet I realize it is the one constant in our life.  As I contemplate my entrepreneurial spirit, career changes, the possibility of another degree and continuously balancing our family and five kids, I realize I must find some serious strength to know that change is ok; fear of change is what I should be worrying about.