Fear of Math -

I have a reoccurring dream, it involves my high school math teacher, Mrs. Kowalchyk and math class.  The dream goes something like…I don’t attend class for a long time, I have daily excuses, then I have to show up to class and have no idea what is going on.  I’ve had this dream several times over the years and amazingly, it makes me anxious when I wake up.  I think this is how my fear of math blossoms -modern day style. 

I am trying hard not to project this on to my kids.  Honestly, I was an anxious learner.  I didn’t want to make a mistake and still don’t.  I was not a perfectionist, my grades proved that one.  I got by with good grades but I wasn’t the Billy Preble of the class (he was top notch).  It was more the “social pressure” of learning.  I didn’t want to “look” foolish and I didn’t want to feel like I didn’t understand something.  I guess I was trying to be cool?  Looking back it is just about the most ridiculous thing….I was a child, I was in school to learn…. It was the one place where I could have hopefully been comfortable making a mistakes. 

BAD NEWS! - I can already see this blooming in my two children and I am making a public commitment to be aware of this as the new school year approaches.  Looking back, looking forward, it is ok to make a mistake.  It is ok to take a risk and not be a people pleaser…..

Interestingly enough, I have to balance this with the World's Greatest Husband’s learning focus for our children.  He was the “Billy Preble” in his class, and from those high school days he just kept on going until he had a DR. in front of his name.  He is academically programmed in a much more scientific way.  I am the more social, “feeler”, outgoing part of our magic.  I am constantly plugging the leadership opportunities, the extra curricular stuff, it’s the stuff that I look back on my educational experience with fondness…

So hopefully we are creating healthy kids while providing the steadiness of two peeps with different learning styles…. He pushes the math (and checks the homework). He promotes an organized study routine.  I push the creative outlets, writing, reading, art and student council.  He pushes athletics, knowing that team work is important.  I say it is ok to be a cheerleader or president of your college class (Yes, and yes for me).

I will keep reminding myself…. Our school routine begins in only 42 more days.. it’s ok to make a mistake, it is ok to take a risk and not try to please everyone around you…. Please yourself… learn all you can…

Parenting is hard work... it truly should come with a course, a test and a license.