I've said it before, I'll say it again...
I am thinking about updating my bloggity blog.

It is always the new year that brings me to this crazy cross roads.  Why is that? Because of the clean slate? Hopes and dreams? Resolutions? Or just the plain ol' crazy girl in me?  Way too much has happened in my life to think I can return to Papermom and simply pick up where I left off.  Kids are in college, I have a new job, I've gained 15 pounds and Mr. Not-so-good has gone off the deep end...I simply can't pick up where I once left off.....but maybe there is another handle out there that is moving me to pen a little ditty.   I know those few phrases will have only the diehard readers standing tall.  Peeps, I've got the stories... I have the material, trust that for sure.... it's the time that I am running short on.  Alhthough this all may be a spark because of a quote that came across my Facebook today...

The trouble is, yu think you have time - Buddha

Today is the first step.  You know I take it slow.... just look at this blog, when was the last time you saw a post?

Let's see w

Parking Meter Frustration

The world’s Greatest Husband and I don’t fight.  Really, we disagree, we get cranky but rarely do you hear us bickering (quite opposite of my years with Mr. Not-So-Good.) This was all put to a test on Saturday as we found on-street parking in downtown Boston.  Which for the record, this is my blog, so I will simply state, we should have parked in the Boylston Garage, like I suggested. 

After squeezing into a space, negotiating are we too close to that fire hydrant or not? We exit the car, a bit close to the hydrant (again this is my blog).  Um…. Disclaimer:  We don’t live in the city and are not at all familiar with today’s modern day parking meters or etiquette but to our credit we do have 43 years of schooling between us, that’s 2 bachelor’s degrees, 3 Master’s, a 6^th year and a PhD.  That put aside, I admit, I am a bit heated over the proximity to the hydrant as I approach the meter.  We put in the credit card, of course - backwards, re-enter and a ticket pops out.  Yes, so much cheaper than the garage, I get it. 

So now imagine you are dining outside at the Panera Bread watching this whole parking meter couple showdown.  That’s where I start to giggle because I know somewhere in Boston there is a married couple still laughing at us as they watched how this all unfolded from a distance.  In addition there are probably a group of young 20-somethings  laughing at how old we looked as we tried to figure out this new meter and possibly an additional young married couple that we scared enough that they vowed to actually never be us. 

This is where it gets good.  He takes the ticket and walks away.  I sternly say, “we have to put that on the window” and point to the line of cars that have tickets stuck to the inside of the passenger windows.  Baffled yet going along with my request he walks to the car, looks at the ticket, presses it to the window, it falls and he decides the dashboard is the next best thing.  The rule follower in me screams “NO – the window” and he tries once again, pushing the ticket to the side of the window, ya still didn’t work.  Frustrated he walks to the meter.  I follow bickering or maybe bitching is the better word and try to figure out how do you make this thing stick? I pull it apart as if it was a sticker but it still won’t stick.  Now I too am frustrated.  The World’s Greatest Husband is done with me, done with the meter and begins to walk away.  This pushes every parking meter button in me and I am determined, finally I figure out how to make the sticker stick! Satisfaction is a wonderful thing.  We spent our first few minutes in Boston power walking through our couple frustration; I swear I could have ran the Boston Marathon at that moment.  In the end all worked out, we soon saw ourselves and the situation for what it was, had a giggle and moved on.  I love that guy!  One of his favorite sayings? “I’d rather be married, than right.”  He gets it.

How Snow Days Used to be....

This past week I learned a thing or two about snow days.   As I shoveled the driveway with the World's Greatest Husband, I realized "shoveling" should be added to the list of things we should not do together, ever.  This joins items such as grocery shopping, visiting malls and driving to see Christmas lights (suddenly he becomes a lead foot race car driver and one must pay attention to see the beautiful displays as he zooms by.)   So as I shoveled and my back began to ache and my blood began to boil, the question --- we have kids, why are we out here shoveling? played continuously in my head.  Let's just leave it as one of those marital moments that was making me dream of my younger days.....

Do you remember snow days as a young adult? prior to kids or maybe even husbands? It meant, stay in bed all day with or without pajamas depending on who was visiting, reading the paper, playing cards, popping a movie in the VCR, and eating junk food.  Am I the only one that relished condo living because you didn't have to bundle up and shovel? I loved that a plow man and his team would dig you out, all you needed was patience and a pre-storm trip to the liquor store.  Ah, life was simple then. Most importantly, It didn't require any blood sweat or tears that often accompany dressing children in snow clothes.  Mom's across the city - you feel my pain, the proper boots, snow pants, hats and glubs (as our little guy used to say) can make any sane woman insane.  Add to that the age 13 and seriously just say no when they ask to play out in the snow.  

With each scoop of cold, wet, heavy snow, I thought of those carefree days only to have a reminder slam me smack dab in the face ....... no, it wasn't the plow spraying snow on me. It was a neighbor.
I heard laughter and running and giggles and thought, what the hell is going on? Until I caught a glimpse of our divorced neighbor running, laughing and snow wrestling with his new girlfriend between kisses and snowballs as they frolicked in the snow.  Clearly that had a no pajama, lazy snow day morning only to be followed up by playing in the snow like two kids in love.

I wouldn't trade anything for my life today but dreaming of the old snow days brought me way back to a simpler time that a girl like me can smile over.  I am counting the days until spring.

Glitter and Glue Video for Mothers - You Will Probably Cry

I am such a sappy, mom geek. I am a fan of author Kelly Corrigan and I was thrilled to see her new video posted to You Tube.  The video highlights her new book Glitter and Glue.  The book is being released Tuesday and I can't wait to read it.  All of her videos (which I have posted a few here over the years) pretty much sum up my whole being, it is as if she has spent days in my head.  She makes life and motherhood real.  She writes or says the things we are all thinking.... for example.  When I was so excited that Kelly Corrigan actually "liked" my facebook post:

   "Kelly Corrigan is my hero.  Seriously,  I know we would be friends if we lived closer.  Video is quick and so worth it"

I yelled upstairs to my thirteen year old daughter who is an avid reader and totally loves books and has several favorite authors (if anyone was to understand my joy, it would be her)  only to have her scroll through my facebook newsfeed  and announce, "Mom, she is liking everyone's posts about her new video. I don't think it was about you"
So naturally, I struggled with giving her the finger in silence as she pranced back upstairs.  Watch her quick video and you will totally get my finger struggle.....

Finally a 2014 Paper Mom update

You know it has been awhile when you have to try a few combinations of user name and password to actually get into your blog.  I've started way too many blog posts with apologies and hopeful wishes for more time to write and post, these are usually empty promises because our life simply moves too fast.  The funny thing about this blog is... I feel it, it's in my heart and my thoughts most days and I know writing it and reflecting on it over the past many years has brought me peace and joy.  So here I write at yet another cross roads.

Life presented a few challenges as 2013 came to a close.  Challenges that make you pause and force you to focus.  I won't bore you with all the details but it starts and ends with a few days of "unexplained double vision"  what double vision has made me see so CLEARLY is that without good health and the love of family one can be lost and a bit out of sorts.  I admit, there were days that I had no focus because suddenly I panicked realizing  that I am the day-to-day glue for our family of 7, glue that keeps kids on a schedule, ensures homework is done, the glue that traditionally gets dinner on the table, the glue that thinks of work details, has vision for work projects, and works with with many to make it all happen.  I am the glue that makes sure uniforms are clean and christmas presents are bought, wrapped and perfect.  The funny thing about all this glue and realization is - I had to learn to depend on others with grace when all I  really I wanted to do was fly out of bed and drive with squinting eyes, drop the kids at appointments and write the reports and letters and move the chairs for the big event.  I wasn't sure how to slow down.  Ok, I admit to driving home from work with one eye closed in an effort to simply just be okay.   For the first time I thought about my purpose on this planet, what I needed my kids to know about life. It was the first time in my 43 years on this earth that I thought about the "what ifs".   It was really scary and threw me off track!   Paper peeps, take if from me,  it's not about being the glue in all situations, sure we all have responsibilities but it's about being a loving, engaged force of good and grace.

The great thing about the human spirit is...FAITH.    With the new year, I have consciously focused on inner peace, family, friends, work, goals and what's next.  Even practicing yoga and meditation. It's a process and I am learning.  I am eager to know more.  I am lucky.  When I speak of being the glue, the cool thing about my life and my glue is I have a better half, the World's Greatest Husband is my personal glue and  he hasn't skipped a beat.  He sticks by me (get it? glue) I love that guy so much..

This week has presented another challenge, a post lumbar puncture headache that has totally shocked me. I really didn't think I would be one of the 40% that would suffer with this.  But once again, I will focus on a small victory -  it has pushed me to reflect and write a post on this blog.... it's been too long.   The positive? maybe a few days of down time has made me realize that writing regularly makes me a better mom, step-mo, wife, daughter, friend and fundraiser.  Seriously no promises - - - But I've missed my regular readers.  I hope you feel the love.

Kringle Candle - Man Style

Visiting Kringle Candle is one of my favorite things to do!  Read my popular post of my first visit to Kringle Candle here http://papermom.blogspot.com/2011/11/delightful-day-at-kringle-candle.html  

To my surprise, the World's Greatest Husband  recently visited without me and surprised me with a bag full of goodies.  Our oldest will be attending College in Vermont and apparently Kringle Candle is the perfect rest stop along the way! This is a bit of a perk to that big college tuition bill.  Of course the World's Greatest Husband visited "man style"  He told me he was there for a total of 20 minutes and felt like he had to announce more than once... "My wife loves this place, she is going to be so happy that I stopped here" because he simply felt like a man should not be candle shopping by himself.   Either way, I am glad he did.  That guy is special.  In addition to buying me prizes, he bought the most beautiful sea life puzzle for our Cub Scout.  The puzzle pieces are the best quality, I have ever seen.  Clearly Kringle does it right.  On one of our next visits - move in weekend - Parents weekend -we are trying the Farm to Table restaurant.... 

Iced Coffee (at the zoo)

There is something wonderful about a mid afternoon iced coffee on a summer day.  I had my first one of the season just a few weeks ago.  In order to start the iced coffee season, I have to feel the heat of the bright sun, I need to have my  flip flops on and my big sunglasses on top of my head or it just doesn't seem right.  It's as if I need to physically prepare for this summer treat.  Between you and I - nothing really compares to cold coffee while sucking up little sugar crystals through that extra large D&D straw.  (It only compares to finding the sugar from my Rice Krispies at that bottom of the bowl.)     It's like winning the coffee jackpot when you get a few sugar tidbits.

So while chaperoning my cub scout's class to the zoo, I decided to indulge.  Here is the thing.... my iced coffee lost it's appeal because of two simple things.  They don't allow covers on their cups or straws at the Dunkin Donuts kiosk at the zoo.  I guess it can harm the animals if somehow a cover or a straw landed in a animal area.  All fine and well but seriously it changed the whole summer iced coffee experience. Juggling a small group of children and  a large cup of coffee  is tough without a cover. Drinking it without a straw and missing out on the sugar tidbits, now that is just disappointing.  I usually don't want my ice coffee to end but on this day, I was gulping it down just to get it over with.

Lesson learned? Never drink an iced coffee at the zoo. I run on Dunkin just not at the zoo.

Yoga Pants, Who Knew?

Clearly I am a bit behind the times.  I've heard about the mommy yoga pant craze for some time now but had no idea... Over the years, I thought yoga pants,were .... too tight.... for skinny people and for those who live in workout attire.  That is... until a week ago when I bought my first pair.  Since then, I've been living in them.  I don't think just any pair would work for this full figure but the pair I acquired at Target are simply perfect. Comfy, stretchy, fitted in right places and perfectly not fitted in other places.  They are perfect with my flip flops or my sneakers.  I am in love, so much in love that maybe I should actually try yoga now that I have the pants.

It's Been too Long -

Paper Peeps,
It's been so long since this Paper Mom has blogged.  It is a busy week in our life and an emotional one too. Our oldest will graduate from high school and head to college. We've had family in town celebrating all week.  I am a sentimental soul so this has been a challenge for me.  I am the one who cried at our cub scout's school concert yesterday so clearly that gives you a clue to my mental state this week.  They are all growing up.  I am not a mushy mom but I am proud of the big people they are turning into.

So here is a little funny to keep you in the mix as I pray, hope and wish for more blogging this summer.

My 3rd grader cub scout says this while getting ready for school ----
"Mom, you should be a lunch lady at our school because you would be a nice one"

Clearly - I am a mush ball - This made me sob -

My friend (shout out to Miria) posted this on facebook and it made me sob.  Maybe it's my state of mind the past few days. . . . . maybe it's graduation season (always does it to me) or maybe it is the stress of my big work special event later this month. . . .  SOBBING PEEPS!  The power of motherhood! grab your tissues and enjoy (or in my case, sob)

Mother's Day is too much pressure for this Step Mo.

Mother's Day is too much pressure.
I think my husband is still recovering from Mother's Day. Over all it was a fine day.  No skywriting, no back flips or magic.... simply no dishes for me. 

The World's Greatest Husband actually asked me to write down what my expectations were for this not always great for a step-mo holiday.  I wrote them down....  easy peasy

1. Dunkin Donuts medium hazelnut with cream and one sweet and low.
2. No dishes for an entire day
3. Let's take a walk in the park
4. Win the Norwegian Cruise contest on pinterest (but I also added, it was ok if this one didn't come true)

Sounds simple right?
I thought so.

Except I was crying by mid afternoon and I am not even a crier!

What I failed to write down on my note was.... make sure each child greets me with a warm "Happy Mother's Day"  This is where blended bliss get's foggy.  This is where I started to question my existence and skill as a step-mo.  It's complicated.  In my heart, I know we are all ok.  My two were proud and happy to greet me with love, hugs and kisses.  His three came later in the day and I guess had already "been there and done that for the day."  And if you are an avid reader, rarely do I even use the terms his and mine that's how good it is.  But in the end, somehow I feel guilty for feeling bad that I wasn't greeted with a phrase that is dedicated to mother's all over the country.  What makes it worse? I wrote them a letter letting them know how much they mean to me on this day and everyday.  One letter still remains in the envelope not even opened.  I am crushed on one level and marching forward like every good mom and stepmo does on every other level.  I love them.  I am disappointed and have learned a great deal through this experience. 

Have hope, as the day went on it improved.  We went on that walk.  I poured my heart out to the World's Greatest Husband and they had an ice cream party for me after dinner.  I got some beautiful gifts and  handmade cards.  As they left the dining room each of them said "Happy Mother's Day." Honestly, I think it's too much pressure for all of us.  We do better on our normal days, our normal routines, no expectations.  By the way, I didn't win the Norwegian cruise either (but you can see my board on pinterest http://pinterest.com/papermom ) But now that would have made a Mother's Day I would like to forget, one to remember.

Happy Mother's Day fellow Paper Mom's

Socks, no the dryer doesn't eat them, you just don't put them away!

Dear Family,
I love you all to the moon and back but we have to pause and have a serious conversation.  SERIOUS.  Are you familiar with the laundry basket of socks that we never quite seem to see the bottom of?  Well today, today is the day, the day that I am determined to clear my heart, head and laundry basket.  It's never good to live with clutter.  It not only takes up physical space, it takes up space in your head.   I live with lots of little annoying things in the blended family blender but a laundry basket full of socks is one of which I am freeing myself of.  I swear some of those socks have lived at the bottom of that basket since I moved into this house six years ago.

So dear family, the time is now.... put them away by 6pm or they will be in tonight's garbage.   Just to give you perspective.  I matched close to 96 pairs of socks today.  I can't seem to find the partner to 53 additional pairs.  And just because I was thinking a great math word problem was in the works for our cub scout, I peeked in each of your drawers to see how many pairs of socks were already tucked in snug.    I've often joked about the hundreds of socks that are in this house.  But today it is a reality, one that is embarrassing and is coming to end.. . . TODAY.  My calculations are even on the low side because I know there are 2 or 3 loads of laundry in the works today and am pretty confident that some of the onesies have other onesies under your beds.  But roughly speaking there are 555 individual socks in this house right now.... that is roughly 39 pairs per individual.  Now, I know that calculation is a bit off because our  baseball player actually has 54.  Yes, I counted.   People, this is clutter, drawer clutter, stinky clutter.  You don't wear 39 pairs because you are often hunting high and low for the 5-7 pairs that you do choose to wear.  And remember three of you only live here half the week!

People are starving and walking barefoot in this country and other countries!  There is no need for 39 pairs, or 54 pairs of socks.

So let's go over the plan -
Evaluate the sock pile prior to 6pm.
Decide on which socks you are going to keep.
Dispose of any onesies.
Dispose of the ones with holes, the ones that no longer fit, the ones that you know you will never wear.
Do not ask for new socks unless your stash is between 7-9 pairs.

Ok, I feel good now.  I feel lighter.  I am ready to clean out a closet. . . . watch out.....

Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

I probably shouldn't blog when I am feeling a bit cranky.  But here goes nothing....

 I am learning more about what I don't want to be like - than what I do want to be like.  I think that sentence can be argued by any sane individual,  like that makes any sense, right? Wait, does that make any sense?

Here's the truth:  I've had several interactions of late that illustrate behaviors, language and agenda's that I don't care to engage in.  I believe life is hard enough for all, do we really need to critically tear each other apart, as leaders? professionals? women? parents?  I am up to my eyeballs in negative sentiment.  I crave to be in a situation where direct and thoughtful kindness, inner beauty, spirit, grace and peace prevail.... please anyone?  Now my self argument can weigh in and say rationally, "but by witnessing all the negative I am learning.... I am learning that leadership, reflection, kindness and good can go a long way."  and to that I say "Well Little Miss selfie, yes- I do agree" But honestly even with that rational thought I am feeling a powerful, inner soul sort of feeling that is seeking to surround myself with the force, the good guys, the smart ones, the strong ones, the kind ones, the ones who are eager to teach.  Maybe I am in need of a strong woman mentor  to help me filter the crap (please inbox me if that is you!), or a maybe a therapy session? A crafty Diva creative break? or quite possibly a good long talk and visit with my mother..... something to "find my center" (as the World's Greatest Husband would say) - -- because wishy-washy, cruel, tactless, inconsiderate and insensitive acts, language and motives are not making this world any better.

I believe that most of the time we are all doing the best we can but at times I question, can we do better?

Now, how is that for a post that is unlike a paper mom post?  Love to all the Paper Peeps - Keeping in real!

A little of bit of strength in a Dove commercial

Ok, I've found another television commercial that made me think.  My new friends at Step Mom magazine posted this on their FaceBook page and I wanted to share because once again. . . . . a powerful message for us all to take note of.  Step-Mo's if you don't follow, Step Mom Magazine, please do.  You will find a bit of strength in every post.  I've been amazed at how often their posts speak right to my heart, at the right moment in time.

A Woman of Grace. . .

"When you are in harmony with yourself everything unfolds into grace with ease"

Seems like that is appropriate quote seeing I am a now a woman of Grace.....  Oh the pressure.
If Grace Magazine brought you by for a quick visit, thanks for stopping in.  Grab a cup of coffee and read on.  If you are a regular reader you may want to click here to see what all this "Grace" talk is all about.   No matter how you landed here, I am glad to have you, now click your heels three times and put on your sparkly tiara, you are officially a Paper Mom Peep!

This post is dedicated with special thanks and love to Julie.  A true woman of Grace....

A commercial for Moms-

This morning I saw a commercial that brought me to tears.  It is beautiful and so appropriate.  I can just imagine viewing it as a new mom and having a full heart.  I've posted it here so you can cry too.  

Isn't it sweet? Are you feeling the love?

Now, I would like to challenge the Johnson's Baby people to craft a new commercial that speaks to the mom's of tweens and teens because the message of "your doing ok, Mom" means an entirely different thing to a mother of twelve year old girls.  The commercial would have to have lots of eye rolling, hand held devices, bright nail polish, hair accessories, One Direction music and most importantly, the commercial would not actually show the mother because that would clearly be too embarrassing.  All kidding aside, motherhood is the greatest job on earth, right? no, seriously, right? 

Squeeze your girls (and your boys too) they are our strong future.

National siblings day

Today is National Siblings Day.  I always tell our children.... In the end, you really only have family.  I hope they support one another in the years ahead.

Here is to brothers, sisters, step brothers and step sisters.  I still hate that word... "step". Really in todays modern age we should have come up with a better word than "step" by now.  I tried "Bonus" but that just doesn't flow either.

Oh the pressure - now I need to worry about inventing a new word.

The Power of Purple

Last night I attended an event to end domestic violence.  It was a powerful program of awareness and education.  Kudos to the people who organized and supported this evening.  The event featured resources, a panel discussion and a keynote address by the very funny author and humorist, Gina Barreca.

My reaction to this well thought out evening is simple:
I want my three girls to be strong, be brave, be confident, know their value and appreciate the good relationships and moments in their life. 

The program featured a TED video.  This video was well done and an eye opener.  Really, if you have important women in your life, you have a responsibility to watch this.


Paper peeps, It's real, it's serious and we should all do something to make sure that these horrible statistics start to change.

7th Grade Memory

I am linking up with the famous Mama Kat's writing workshop to not only creatively express myself through writing but to also act a like a tweenie again and relive my most favorite school year ever. The prompt is.... a seventh grade memory.

7th grade.
7th grade, as a whole, was the best year in my entire educational career.
7th grade, the grade that two of my two girls are in now.
7th grade, the grade when I had my first "real" kiss.
7th grade when I lived for the RollerPort 91 afternoon couples skate.

Really do  I need to write anything more?
silly reader, of course I do. . . .
Oh the memories. . . .

I remember Mrs. Rabe coming into Mrs. Kowalchyk's class to confiscate all the frog dissection "parts" that we took as souvenirs.  After her speech and detention threats she stood at the front of the classroom waiting for us all to unload.  Slowly, one by one kids shuffled to the front of the room digging in pockets and book bags to return the parts that were neatly wrapped up in brown paper towels.  Someone had clearly ratted our class out. 

I remember wearing my winter coat to my art class because I was afraid that Mrs. Gezzie wouldn't dismiss on time and Lord knows I couldn't mess with my locker and catch the bus.

I remember sitting on the living room sofa behind a pillow making out.  It may scare you to know that I remember Madonna's video "Crazy For You" playing on MTV as we made out.   I remember my mother calling me into the kitchen and stating that if that didn't stop at once, I wasn't going to ever see the light of day again.

It was the year of boy-girl parties, hours spent on the phone and night time hide and seek. 

It was the year of big t-shirts, neon accessories, WHAM,  Madonna, Bryan Adams and Jordache.

It was the year that feathered roach clips were all the rage at the Durham Fair and my parents wouldn't allow me to put one in my hair because they would simply say, "do you know what those are really used for?"  Until, luck would have it and I had my birthday party at the roller rink and recieved one as the "gift" from the skating place.  My parents let me keep it.

It wasn't just one memory that made 7th grade great, well maybe the kissing, but many.  It's hard for me to imagine that two of my girls are living 7th grade right now. 
Cheers to the good ol days, I am going to go lock up the girls right now. 

An Expensive Easter to Remember

I love the World's Greatest Husband.  He is smart and witty.  He is not a handy man. I repeat, he is not a handy man.  I wish he was and on days like Easter, I really, really, really wish he was.  Case at hand - - - Dr. Psychologist should never play Mr. Lumberjack, never.

We had a rather large tree come down during a storm.  We had a man come clean up the big mess but a big piece of the rather large tall tree was still standing.  My dear one took it down.  Rope, chain saw, sweat, and you tube.  He did it and gained more confidence than he should have.  This led to the expensive part.

Tree two... near the house, near the gas tank, near the roof......
I admit, watching from the window, I said several Hail Mary's and said to myself..... what the hell is he thinking? ? ? ? ?  The tree came down and landed right between the house and the gas tank.... upside? not in the pool, not on top of a kid.

Downside? a very expensive Easter once we get the gutter guy and roof guy to schedule us in.  People, simply enjoy family, eat ham and search for eggs on Easter Sunday.  Do not attempt tree trimming on holy days or in the case of my husband, ever.